Sunday, May 20, 2018


I have a recurring fantasy about her blindfolded, sucking the cock of someone we know, left to wonder the rest of her days, every time she sees a man, was he the one. Left to ponder, every time a man smiles at her, whether he's just being friendly or remembering her wet mouth wrapped around his cock.

And I have a recurring fantasy of her making me do the same.

Friday, May 18, 2018

She said it's one of the things she misses the most about him.


"So I was thinking, if we're going to try to get pregnant by insemination and all we need is the fluid, not only don't you need to be inside me, there's really no reason you need to be erect, is there? I mean, could we do it without unlocking you? At least try the first month or two?"

Monday, May 7, 2018

Actual Google Searches

"pregnancy without penetration"

"pregnancy without ejaculation"

"pregnancy without male orgasm"

"pregnancy without erection"

Monday, April 2, 2018

The End...

Everything was too much; her dress was too short and too low cut. Her heels were too high. Her bra was too tight, so she had too much breast on display.

She'd fit in at a club, the right night out, but in a hotel bar, there was a chance people would wonder.

But that's the way he wanted it, he never wanted either of us to forget that she was his whore.

"I want them to wonder," he told us, "when she's sitting at the bar waiting for me, I want them wondering. I want her sitting there by herself, seeing every man look at her."

It had always been a thing with him, pushing her to the edge of comfortable and making her go just an inch further.

"You won't be there?" I asked him.

"Not at first, no," he said.'

"What if...what if someone approaches her?" I asked.

He smiled. "Then she flirts."

"But she..."

"It's a public space," he said, anticipating, "she'll be fine. Besides, you'll be there, across the way, watching."

"Watching?" It was going to be the last time and he wanted it to be memorable. For all of us.

"Watching. Watching to see if anyone talks to her, watching when I pick her up."

It was going to be the last time because she and I made a decision. A mutual decision. It wasn't necessarily a decision to leave him, but the decision necessitated leaving him.

We wanted to share our life. By making a life.

And that couldn't involve him.

He understood, it wasn't like this was something she hadn't thought about. Talked about.

But there would be one more night she was his. One more night she was his whore. A reminder who she...or we...served.

One more night. Then no more.

Two men approached her in the almost hour she was at the bar. Two single men, obviously men staying at the hotel. Business men, men in suits, powerful men, well off men. Single as in by themselves. I presumed they were married. Away. Looking.

I couldn't hear, only see, couldn't tell if they thought she was simply alone or something more. Something they could win over or something they could buy.

She flirted with each, flirting returned. Hand on a suited forearm. A return hand on her bare shoulder or back. A tentative hand on her nylon covered thigh. Ten or fifteen minutes each time, then the end, when attempted closure, the she was meeting someone.

Then he was there. More familiar, of course, not tentative. Not hesitant. Possessive. Dominant. Assured. Confident.

He ordered drinks for them both. Her third, though she'd nursed the second. Took the drinks to a couch, sat with her. He didn't look for me, knew I was there, but didn't look, didn't care.

The couch was low and she seemed, from my angle, across the way, to be all legs and breasts. From his position, there as no 'seem' as she must have been that, on display. And he didn't waste the display, touched her, knowing I was there, watching, possessed her. She ended up with the hem of her dress higher and the bodice lower, not obscene, but close.

When their drinks were gone, he led her upstairs, walked near me, almost by me, but kept her attention, a last reminder that while she was mine, forever, this last time they were together she was his.

Yes, I'm alive.

Things happened. Not bad. Not bad at all. Good, in fact. But things are different. I'll explain.

Monday, March 5, 2018


Remember when I said it wasn't gay if you dressed like a school girl and we sucked his cock together?

Yea, I was lying, sweetie, that's totally gay.


Watching her husband do it, watching him lick her cum filled pussy, watching him clean her lover's cum with such eagerness, she made a snap decision.

Never again would his little penis go inside her pussy.

Love It

Friday, March 2, 2018


That feeling I get watching Emily get dressed in a sexy outfit knowing tonight she's mine, just mine, and no one else's. I don't even care I'm locked, will stay locked, that the key isn't even at home. I just care that she'll be getting dressed to play with me, just me. That tonight is just about us. That she's as happy to spend the night together as I am.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018


Of course, in the pantheon of things no husband ever wants to imagine his wife doing, if getting fucked like this by someone else, bareback, raw, pure, animalistic.

But of course, it is something every bull may demand, not merely access to her pussy, but exclusive access.

Ultimately, it's his way of marking her, much like a dog marks its territory with his pee, he does the same to your wife with is cum.

His seed is on her, his scent is on her, filling her, coating her, covering her.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018


It's hard not to think about it, not ever, not to feel deep inside that it's natural, it's something you want, even need. It's okay, she'll understand, after all this time, she knows the desire's inside you, wanting to escape, needing to escape. So accept, surrender, submit.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Al Playa and Tanya have a discussion about Emily and Sara Part 2

Easier for me to comment in a post than in the comments, in case someone doesn't read all the comments. Let's see, where to start:

Someone asks, "For me, the question is, what are the rules?"

Well, what are the rules in a relationship with a dominant boyfriend, a mostly submissive wife, and a very submissive sissy husband?

I've explained before, Emily and I can "call" certain days that are ours. Meaning, no matter what Matthew wants, there are days that are our time alone. Remember, most days, by the nature of our schedules, are ours. Most days we do not see him. Most days she does not talk to him. Some days she does not text him.

He gives us space and our time in two ways. First, by the "call" days. It's important to Emily and I that there are times when we do not let him interrupt us. Second, just by not being here all the time, the day in and day out of our lives involves Emily and me, not she and him, not the three of us.

So, in a way, I wasn't in a position to refuse him and his request. But in a way, I was, too. I could have "called" the day. But it wasn't a special day, just the routine. And if I'd refused, well, how does a sub "refuse" the dominant, other than by ground rules, none of which were broken.

Understand, his sometimes last minute intrusion into our lives is something we kind of negotiated. We kind of fell into it, but it has become part of the deal. And it really is something additive to all of this. If he wasn't the strong personality he was, it would never work, but the suddenness of it, the surprise, adds to the submission we both feel.

So, that's the rule. Special days are ours. "Call" days are ours. Ordinary days are ours. But the ordinary days may involve him. Sometimes well planned, sometimes a surprise. Matthew takes, yes, but we want him to take.

He respects us by generally leaving us to our relationship, by allowing us our special times, and by knowing he's giving us more by giving us less.

But we respect him, too, as the alpha male. As the dominant male. Within the framework we all agreed to, he's in charge.

Tanya worries (Tanya, I'm glad you worry, it makes me happy) that Matthew's crossed red lines, that Emily's fallen for him, that he may take her away from me.

Tanya's right, lines were crossed and there is more intimacy between them than there was before.

But, as I said, he's in effect her boyfriend. Not just her fuck buddy, not her 'stud' not her 'bull', but he's her boyfriend.

I think I'd be worried if I sensed he was the kind of man who wanted to get married, have a family, and do all that. He's not. After almost four years, I know he's not. Because while he's clearly a dominant man, he's not trying to drive an emotional wedge between Emily and me, he's not trying to interfere with us, and he often asks about and checks on the intimacy between Emily and me.

Does she love him in a way? Yea. I suppose that was inevitable after several years. Does she want to be with him in a loving relationship? No. Nor does he. All three of us are in agreement on that.

Is he willing to back away if we start a family? Yes. We've talked about that. Temporarily or permanently. Does he know we're trying? Yes and he supports us.

Sure, he's pushed our boundaries, but only so far. We seem to be in general agreement.

I don't want to eliminate him permanently, though would and would accept it. I don't want to because the yin and yang, the anxiety and pleasure I get from helping my wife get ready for a date, waiting home, and being with her after brings too much satisfaction.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Al Playa and Tanya have a discussion about Emily and Sara

In the post Watching, I recounted Matthew's last minute intrusion to my planned Saturday evening with Emily.

Frequent commenters Al Playa and Tanya had a subsequent discussion about the propriety of that, whether Matthew was inappropriately intruding into our marriage.

Tanya wondered if Emily could have met Matthew after the show as she doesn't like the way Matthew can dismiss me like he does.

Al noted the strangeness of our particular relationship, Emily's looking for me to concur in the change in plans, and my conflict in my role in this relationship.

Al also, humorously, that he and Tanya were discussing my and Emily's relationship on Sara's blog without any comment from either of us (welcoming such comment.


So who is right?

Well Tanya, of course! I mean, what kind of man does what Matthew did? He took a woman away from her husband knowing the plans they had together. He interrupted them anyway, saying in actions what he didn't say in words. I'm more important.

But wait. Al's right, too. Matthew made a request (even if couched as a demand). Both Emily or I were free to ignore him. But we didn't.


Emily says, as far as Matthew goes, that he isn't just a "fuck buddy." He may have been merely that at one time, but he's been in our life for almost four years now.

Four years.

Yes. Four years.

He's not just some guy she fucked. Or some guy she fucks. He's a living, breathing human being with feelings, wants, needs, and desires. And after four years, those things are important to Emily.

I asked her once, maybe a year ago, when I couldn't stand the thought anymore, if she loved him.

She bit her lip in the way she does, said she's never said it to him, but still had to think about it. "Maybe in a way," she said, "but not...never...the way I love you."

What's the difference? I'm the person she plans for the future with. I'm the person she'll retire with. I'm the person she still wants a child with. I'm the person she trusts, the person she opens up to, the person who she knows is there for her, now and ever.

Matthew is many things to her, but not those things.

But that begs a question though, doesn't it? How could she leave me that night for him.

Well, as far as I go, there's some strong power exchange shit going on there.

Matthew's a dominant man. We knew that at the beginning. Knew it for the first few months. Know it now. The thing is, he knows it too. And while he may not have appreciated it at the beginning, he gets how assuming the role as the dominant man, as the alpha male, has brought this to heights we'd never have taken if he were more passive.

You all get that, right? As jealous as I get, as troubling as it is sometimes, the role of the submissive is what's most natural for me. I may have been disappointed that I didn't go to the symphony with her, but that day, that time, it was a supremely dominant request and an extremely submissive acquiescence.

Without someone in control, there is chaos. When he's in control, there is peace and order.

Is there danger? Well fuck yes. My singular fear is she'll leave me for him. So we talk about this fear on a semi-regular basis.

Her singular fear is loss of intimacy with me. So we make time for intimacy every single day and every single week.

He has a fear, too, of course. A phone call to my wife that goes unreturned. Ignored texts. Not in a day to day controlling way, but that Emily and I, as the married couple, will come to our senses and just cut him off.

We're his submissives and he doesn't want to lose us. He knows he has control and power day to day, but also knows if he goes too far, if he threatens the bond Emily and I have, he loses.

A strong man leads. Matthew's a strong man. He leads us. He's the alpha male.

A confident woman can follow. Emily's a confident woman. She follows him. She's the alpha female.

A sissy submits. I'm a sissy. As fucked up as it is, I submit to them. When I was young, I didn't understand what it meant to be a sissy. I fantasized about being a cuckold, but didn't really get it. I know watching her dress for a date with her boyfriend, helping her get ready, is a sign to her and to him that I accept these roles.

Recently I helped her dress for a date with him, helped her into a garter belt and stockings. Watched her check her stockings, saw the exposed side boob. Everything screamed "Fuck Me". And watching her, I saw the excitement on her face, knew she was looking forward to the kind of sex only a man like Matthew provides.

And watching me, she saw the jealousy on mine, but knew as difficult as it was, I too was looking forward the evening, wanted to see his reaction when he saw her. And that the biggest expression of my love for her was allowing her to date him and being there for her when she got home.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018


After a long night of rough sex with her boyfriend, nothing is more comforting than the tender loving care delivered by her faithful husband.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

She may be your loving wife, but she's his faithful slut.

Frat Life

Every year, the DKEs picked one "unique" freshman to rush their fraternity. While that boy had no chance of actually being invited to join, he did learn there were other ways to get into Greek life.

Saturday, February 3, 2018


He's in town, got in late last night. He has a meeting on Monday morning, needs to get ready Sunday afternoon. But he called this morning to tell her he's free tonight and is picking her up at seven.

She told him we had symphony tickets, but could change them for another weekend. He said why bother, he'd take her instead.

She looked at me and I knew what she wanted, but she wanted me to say okay, too. We both must have thought the same thought, this is what he does, part of our thing, purposefully done from time to time. An assertion. Of power. Of dominance. She may be mine day to day, but when he wanted her on a whim, she was his.

I nodded, disappointed as I was from time to time to lose an evening with her. She knew my disappointment, of course, but knew there was a benefit, too. That every time he acted like a man, he emphasized my emasculation, that every time he controlled her, he reinforced his role compared to mine.

There's room only for one Alpha in a woman's life, and that was him.

He understands. While the sissy part of me may still be somewhat of a mystery, he gets his role and relishes it.

So I sit in her dressing room, watching her get ready. She's naked, purposefully I'm sure, so I see what he's getting tonight, so I feel those aches of jealously, the pulls that by some weird paradox bring me closer to her. She's a beautiful woman-she eats healthy, takes care of her skin, works out. Her body is as beautiful today as it was years ago when I first saw her naked. And I want her now as much as I did the first time.

Ironically, she denied me at first back then, too. But then she relented.

Not now.

Not now.

Friday, January 26, 2018


I've never taken it directly from him, that is, I've never sucked his cock and felt him explode in my mouth, though I've certainly seen her do it enough at this point.

And I may never, which is conflicting. I want to, but I don't want to. Regardless, that's his decision, not mine.

I've come close, though, as I've shared it with her, licked it from her face, from her pussy. I've licked it seconds after he exploded in her mouth. And I've licked him when he was still covered in her juices or his.

Just never a blow job. As jealous as I get watching.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

For my own good

That's what she says, now, the longer I'm locked up, the longer I'm denied. I've come to agree, as much as part of me hates it.

I understand if this is the life we lead, things are so much better when it doesn't need to be discussed day-to-day. When I'm not tempted to touch myself day-to-day. When an erection isn't a distraction day-to-day.

When release comes from other things, feminine things. When release doesn't involve putting myself into something (a mouth, a hand, a tube, or god forbid, a pussy) but instead putting something into me.

It's for my own good, so as not to confuse me, to let my mind wander, even a little, to pretending to be a man.

I can ask to be unlocked, and the longer I'm locked the more I want to. And the less I want to, too.

It's for my own good, because erections are for men, not sissies, and it reminds me, reminds her, and reminds him of my place.

* Not me, just a beautiful Korean sissy who's locked like me.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018


Well you could order it online, anonymous and unknown. But she wouldn't let you, she wants you to go to a store, look at them, find one you like, and wait for a clerk to ask if you need help.

So much more humiliating that way.