I do not want to focus only on the positive, that's too much self-flattery. So, I'll highlight some of both.
I haven't read your story yet - maybe I'll get around to it one of these years...why does any story have to be this loooong on Fictionmania?????? That alone turns me off. I find that when a story is tooo looong, it is full of filler....and unnecessary stuff!
You write it as though it is like getting addicted to a new drug. As I'm reading this I seem to feel like I know what will happen next. Mother in law catches him, uses verbal BS and sex to get him to submit and ultimatly dress his to show her daughter/his wife what kind of a man he is. To this point I think it is out-right cruel and can't read beyond this. I'm sure the story has some kind of happy ending but I can't think of it being very happy for all the characters.
A real blockbuster this time with no breaks.
And, so it seems, a final step into Vickie Tern territory, where soulless and conniving women plot to achieve their perceived nirvana with the justification that this is what he wants/needs anyway.
Not one of the 3 protagonists has a redeeming quality, thus ensuring that any identification with one or another is marginal or hollow.
You write well and have a devoted following for your early stories; yet this is more of the same just offered up in one almost indigestible lump.
You flatter but to deceive.
Michelle:This story is simply one of the best from the best. If only there were more of Sara and the wait were not so long.....so well worth it in any event. Thanks so very, very much!BevW:Wonder story from a great writer. Always love to see new additions from her. This story is no exception. It moves along nicely and keeps the reader interested from start to finish.Cynthia:Nothing short of a masterpiece. Wonderfully crafted, beautifully written, each scene had me totally captivated. The best story of this genre by far
Interestingly, I agree with Geraldine, to some extent. Let me explain.
First, I write for an audience of one. Just one. Me. So, if readers like or dislike, that's okay with me. If Cynthia loves the story, that makes me happy. If Geraldine hates it, that's okay, too. Basically, I write as a creative outlet for fantasy that I don't know that I'd otherwise want in real life. Some of the things in my writing, I have, others are a safe way to explore what probably would be unhealthy in a relationship. So, while I love hearing from my readers and really do like to know that so many people like the stuff I write, ultimately, the writing is aimed at an audience of just one.
Thus, the second point, it is fantasy. Moreover, my stories are barely at, or even below, the level of pulp fiction. Geraldine is right that none of the characters in this story have any redeeming qualities. They were not written to have redeeming qualities. They were written as a vehicle for sexual fantasy. Let's face it, a high percentage of readers of this genre are wearing silk, satin, and lace, and, um, to be impolite, are masturbating the fuck out of themselves!
If anything, look at Sarah's comment. There is too much fluff!
Some readers think there is not enough character development, some think there is too much.
I actually LOVED Sarah's comment. It made me giggle. Sarah, here is a story for you, no fluff:
She ordered me to dress in her lingerie. She bent me over the table. She fucked me in my pussy ass until we both came all over the bed. She leaned back, laughed, as I licked up every drop of the mixture of our cum.
I don't mean to make fun of Sarah, but I know what she means. Sometimes you just want a good fucking, the hell with the foreplay (read character development.)
At the end of the day, I do not make a penny from these stories. I write them for fun, because I'm bored, to work off creative steam, to just drive my brain wild with lust.
I really do like hearing from readers, though.
I'll say this, Room and Board is my favorite. Mother-in-Law is my least favorite. I started it, got bored, realized it was lacking in this and that, but decided just to bang it out, what the hell, let a sissy or fifty read it and have their fancies tickled.
But, it is just porn. I never set out to write the next great American novel. I'm just writing pulp fiction.
And "just" does not quite give enough credit to my work, or any other author that writes this stuff. Sure, it is drivel. IT IS PORN, we know that. Pulp fiction at best.
But that's cool, girls. Sometimes we need pulp fiction. Sometimes we need James Joyce. Sometimes we need Bordeaux, sometimes we need wine from a box.
A rambling way to say, whatever my point was when I started, that I know what I'm writing.
Pulp fiction, my friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I really do appreciate all comments, good and bad. I really do appreciate what Geraldine is saying. Hell, she's right!
Joyce wasn't my target though.
And Mother-in-Law does not hold a candle to A Change in Our Marriage.
Which is what I'm working on next. Adding images to that, fixing a thing or two, not much. Just adding something, images, that may make a re-read of that something fun to do.
So, thanks to all of you.