Monday, November 24, 2014


For those of you that remember these things, my anniversary was last week.

Emily and I celebrated on Saturday, though, had a wonderful day together furniture shopping (we're looking for a dining room table). We went to some quaint stores, came home and made dinner together, and sat on the couch until we went to bed.

No, we did not, as I had kind of hoped, have sex. That is, I did not, as I had hoped, get permission from Matthew to make love to my wife, like a husband and wife.

He'd asked me when we were celebrating our anniversary, somewhat reluctantly I told him a simple dinner on the day, plans for Saturday.

"That's okay, I hope," I texted, "you don't have plans with her, do you?"

"No I don't," he said, "I wouldn't do that, take your day, that would be cruel."

"Thank you," I said, meaning it.

"That said, it's too soon."

"What's too soon," I asked.

"What you want to ask and are afraid, what you're thinking about but won't say. What you're hoping to do..."

I didn't answer right away, he was right, but I didn't know what to say.

"Am I wrong...?"


"It's too soon."

"Too soon?"

"Too soon. It's too new for her...and for you...too soon to confuse the two of you. So...before you ask...the answer's no. It's too soon."

"Okay," I said, for what did one say to the man telling you that you can't make love to your wife.

"Understand I won't always say no, but it's too soon. For now, that part of her is mine."

Should I have been mad? Jealous? Hurt? Maybe, but I wasn't any of those things (well, maybe a little jealous). Instead, I was, well, excited. Excited at being denied. Excited at his control. Excited at the game we played. Excited that life was controlled, to some extent, to a large extent, by him.

He wasn't in our lives, day to day, that is, we did not see him every day, we didn't even talk to him every day. But his presence is with us.


  1. Sara, Thank you for the post. I want my husband to feel denied as well. I have decided he will not have sex until you do. Perhaps I can find my own Matthew!

  2. Hi Sara,
    I'm sorry but I don't really like Matthew - he's not a nice man. I find him smug, arrogant and quite chauvinistic. He does not treat women well, he uses them for his own pleasure. Maybe that is typical of an alpha male.
    Emily likes sex with an alpha male, but I don't think she likes Matthew either.
    in the "Halloween" trilogy, I got the excitement of preparing, the anticipation, but the rest was pure sex. After meeting Matthew as his whore, Emily spent most of her time reminding you of her love for you. I really think she would have preferred to be fucked there and then let Matthew leave and spend the evening with you.
    I'm not sure you Sara will get what you desire from Matthew as I sense a certain homophobic streak, and in time Emily will tire of just being a whore to this cruel unfeeling man.
    Have a lovely thanksgiving together.

    Love Tanya xxxxx

    1. Tanya,

      You may or may not be right, I don't know. I think she likes the power of Matthew, the sex, yes, the sex with an alpha male. But she's not wired to be with him like she is with me. And that's why I don't get too jealous.