Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Al Playa and Tanya have a discussion about Emily and Sara Part 2

Easier for me to comment in a post than in the comments, in case someone doesn't read all the comments. Let's see, where to start:

Someone asks, "For me, the question is, what are the rules?"

Well, what are the rules in a relationship with a dominant boyfriend, a mostly submissive wife, and a very submissive sissy husband?

I've explained before, Emily and I can "call" certain days that are ours. Meaning, no matter what Matthew wants, there are days that are our time alone. Remember, most days, by the nature of our schedules, are ours. Most days we do not see him. Most days she does not talk to him. Some days she does not text him.

He gives us space and our time in two ways. First, by the "call" days. It's important to Emily and I that there are times when we do not let him interrupt us. Second, just by not being here all the time, the day in and day out of our lives involves Emily and me, not she and him, not the three of us.

So, in a way, I wasn't in a position to refuse him and his request. But in a way, I was, too. I could have "called" the day. But it wasn't a special day, just the routine. And if I'd refused, well, how does a sub "refuse" the dominant, other than by ground rules, none of which were broken.

Understand, his sometimes last minute intrusion into our lives is something we kind of negotiated. We kind of fell into it, but it has become part of the deal. And it really is something additive to all of this. If he wasn't the strong personality he was, it would never work, but the suddenness of it, the surprise, adds to the submission we both feel.

So, that's the rule. Special days are ours. "Call" days are ours. Ordinary days are ours. But the ordinary days may involve him. Sometimes well planned, sometimes a surprise. Matthew takes, yes, but we want him to take.

He respects us by generally leaving us to our relationship, by allowing us our special times, and by knowing he's giving us more by giving us less.

But we respect him, too, as the alpha male. As the dominant male. Within the framework we all agreed to, he's in charge.

Tanya worries (Tanya, I'm glad you worry, it makes me happy) that Matthew's crossed red lines, that Emily's fallen for him, that he may take her away from me.

Tanya's right, lines were crossed and there is more intimacy between them than there was before.

But, as I said, he's in effect her boyfriend. Not just her fuck buddy, not her 'stud' not her 'bull', but he's her boyfriend.

I think I'd be worried if I sensed he was the kind of man who wanted to get married, have a family, and do all that. He's not. After almost four years, I know he's not. Because while he's clearly a dominant man, he's not trying to drive an emotional wedge between Emily and me, he's not trying to interfere with us, and he often asks about and checks on the intimacy between Emily and me.

Does she love him in a way? Yea. I suppose that was inevitable after several years. Does she want to be with him in a loving relationship? No. Nor does he. All three of us are in agreement on that.

Is he willing to back away if we start a family? Yes. We've talked about that. Temporarily or permanently. Does he know we're trying? Yes and he supports us.

Sure, he's pushed our boundaries, but only so far. We seem to be in general agreement.

I don't want to eliminate him permanently, though would and would accept it. I don't want to because the yin and yang, the anxiety and pleasure I get from helping my wife get ready for a date, waiting home, and being with her after brings too much satisfaction.


  1. An interesting conversation. Thank you. I'm concerned for you too, but it all seems to be working for you. Your stories and blogs have provided so much enjoyment to me over the years that I can only wish well. I'm pretty sure you missed adding a "not" in this statement:
    Now "he's trying to drive an emotional wedge between Emily and me"; should be: he's not trying to drive an emotional wedge between Emily and me.

    Take care

  2. cindy_bee: Thanks, fixed that. You're right, "NOT".

    I'm not saying any of this is super easy. Or without danger. It isn't and it is. Communication is very important and Emily and I do. Often.

  3. Again. Thanks for sharing and for the clarity and for your willingness to continue your journey in such a public forum. As I once read somewhere "Being a submissive isn't for the faint of heart."

    Best wishes to all of you, always,

  4. Hi Sara,
    Thanks for another lovely and thoughtful blog. So pleased you realise I care from afar !!!
    My final thoughts on “Symphony” episode:

    Matthew acted exactly as I would expect - alpha male, expecting his way and getting it.
    You acted exactly as I would expect/ you’d give Emily everything she wants and desires. Your love is total and undemanding.
    My issue is occasionally with Emily. I know she loves you. She wanted to go with Matthew. She Preferred to go with Matthew. She was happy to let you down and she was happy to see you humiliated. That’s why I wonder if she loves you as much as you love her.

    Clearly Emily now has an emotional attachment with Mathew. Always dangerous. He has been in your lives a good proportion of your marriage.

    I follow Leanne’s sissy musings. All went well when CL had several lovers, but when she reconnected with QB, he became dominant and controlling, also deliberately bringing out Leeannes femininity, especially in Mexico. I guess QB was trying to emphasise his sissiness and wanting to reclaim CL. She eventually ended relationship(in my opinion wisely) as it was affecting her long term marriage and relationship with Leanne .

    With only 1 lover, Emily could find herself with same dilemma, however strong you consider your marriage.

    However much you adore Emily, she must reciprocate and you have to be respected.

    Love always

    Tanya xxxxx

  5. Question Sara.
    How often does Emily see Matthew ???
    Just wondering.

    Love Tanya xxxx

  6. On average, a couple of times a month. Some months a couple of times more, some less. She (we) have gone longer than a month (I think six weeks).

    1. Thanks Sara. Enough for Emily, but not enough to really affect the 2 of you.
      Love Tanya xxxxx

  7. May I selfishly ask 'any new books or stories in the works'?
    Love your blog and posts and feel you and Emily have got it together and are doing what's right for both of you. And Matthew is the real lucky one.

  8. I saw it mentioned that Emily also has a blog. Could you provide a link to it?

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