Saturday, February 3, 2018


He's in town, got in late last night. He has a meeting on Monday morning, needs to get ready Sunday afternoon. But he called this morning to tell her he's free tonight and is picking her up at seven.

She told him we had symphony tickets, but could change them for another weekend. He said why bother, he'd take her instead.

She looked at me and I knew what she wanted, but she wanted me to say okay, too. We both must have thought the same thought, this is what he does, part of our thing, purposefully done from time to time. An assertion. Of power. Of dominance. She may be mine day to day, but when he wanted her on a whim, she was his.

I nodded, disappointed as I was from time to time to lose an evening with her. She knew my disappointment, of course, but knew there was a benefit, too. That every time he acted like a man, he emphasized my emasculation, that every time he controlled her, he reinforced his role compared to mine.

There's room only for one Alpha in a woman's life, and that was him.

He understands. While the sissy part of me may still be somewhat of a mystery, he gets his role and relishes it.

So I sit in her dressing room, watching her get ready. She's naked, purposefully I'm sure, so I see what he's getting tonight, so I feel those aches of jealously, the pulls that by some weird paradox bring me closer to her. She's a beautiful woman-she eats healthy, takes care of her skin, works out. Her body is as beautiful today as it was years ago when I first saw her naked. And I want her now as much as I did the first time.

Ironically, she denied me at first back then, too. But then she relented.

Not now.

Not now.


  1. So lovely that you've been given a relationship that you both relish and that makes you (singular) ache. Ecstasy and agony.


    P.S. What's on the programme? Anything you particularly wanted to hear?

  2. Hi Sarah,
    Great post as always. You know from my previous comments, this is one area where I struggle with your lifestyle, where Matthew interferes with your marriage to Emily.
    Emily could have agreed to meet Matthew after show, but she didn’t- I would have hoped she would have preferred to see show with her husband not fuck buddy !

    I don’t like Way Matthew can dismiss you like he does, and Emily accepts it and encourages it.

    Love always

    Tanya xxx

    1. Tanya, I think that in a traditional marriage your concerns would be valid but for Emily and Sara, even in her conflicted way, this is what they want for their relationship and for the experience that each gets from their role within that dual- and triple-relationship. That is why I made the comment I did above.

      I may be wrong but that's my perspective.

  3. Hi Al,
    Thanks for reply - you seem like an astute guy. I'll explain my perspective :

    Sex and intimacy are one part of a normal marriage - just a part. I this marriage, Matthew gets the sex, and Sara the intimacy - fine.
    The rest of what seems like a very happy marriage - day to day life/future planning/doing normal things together/ is solely between Emily and Sara - Matthew plays no part. In this scenario, BOTH Emily and Sara planned to go to concert. Emily did go, Sara missed it - I think that it was unfair of EMILY to allow that. Matthew is just arrogant alpha male who takes what he wants. When their day to day happy marriage is disrupted in this way I really feel for Sara.

    Love Tanya xxxxxx

    1. Hi Tanya
      Thanks for your thoughtful response. I completely understand why you "feel for Sara" and would not condone an unwanted imposition in any relationship but that's not what I see happening here. Granted, my knowledge of this relationship is very superficial, based solely on what's posted here and my subsequent "reading between the lines" of what's said or unsaid.

      In regard to this incident I see two cogent statements in Sara's post. First, Emily didn't just accept Matthew's suggestion "She looked at me and I knew what she wanted, but she wanted me to say okay, too." Given Sara's role in this relationship she may not have felt like she could refuse but Emily gave her an opportunity to agree or disagree. Second, Sara said "She knew my disappointment, of course, but knew there was a benefit, too." Sara's agreement allowed Matthew to play his role in this 3-way relationship and allowed her (Sara) to play her role in it. Although it seems she is conflicted about that role at times, I think the overall experience is of benefit to her and her development as a sissy, cuckold and/or submissive. That seems to me, what she is saying.

      On a related note, I find it interesting that you and I are discussing Sara and Emily's relationship on Sara's blog without any comment from either Sara or Emily. LOL Such a comment would be most welcome on my part but I completely understand (for many possible reasons) why they may choose not to participate.

      Best wishes to you Tanya, and to Sara, Emily and Matthew.

  4. HI Al,
    I have followed Sara's blog for many years now, from before her relationship with Emily. She knows I care about her welfare, and am strangely protective ( don't know why lol !!).
    I comment and question regularly.
    This type of lifestyle can be complex, and can easily go wrong for obvious reasons :
    1. Woman goes off with lover
    2. Sissy gets too jealous and cannot cope.

    Sara and Emily's relationship seems to work well, and I hope that will always be the case.

    Love Tanya xxxx

  5. Completely agree!!!


  6. This proves that this will not be the Chinese Century as some have hypothesized


    If they were opening real Sissy Schools then I would think China would be on their way to lead the world but not the above.

  7. I will never forget the first time my wife told me she wanted to have sex with the man next door. I just lay there like a little coward and agreed. I am so happy with my new self. Having your wife come to you after she has been with a man is so nice. Melinda in Arkansas