Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sunday, December 22, 2013

I want a Hooter's Girl for Christmas*

*Like, I want to be one, not do one; I'll leaving the doing to real men.

Friday, December 20, 2013

So many thoughts…how to even untangle them?

Several general truths:

1. I love Emily; she loves me.

2. I’m a sissy, always have been, always will be.

3. Emily likes men. While she couldn’t marry one, couldn’t even fall in love with one, she still likes them.

4. I want Emily to fuck a man now and then. I totally want it.

Several specific truths:

1. New Year’s Eve is not a big deal to me as a ‘special’ holiday.

2. Emily wants Jeff to fuck her, ergo, I want Jeff to fuck her.

3. Jeff is not a ‘jerk’ per se. He is an alpha man, though, and alpha men take what they want. That itself is part of Emily’s attraction to him, sexually. The reality it, same with me. He doesn’t want to wine and dine my wife, he doesn’t want to date her, he wants to fuck her. Pure. And. Simple. 

Jeff wants to fuck my wife. He doesn’t care that she’s married, alpha men never care. He doesn’t care that she’s in love, alpha men never care. If anything, the fact that Emily is happily married and in love with to someone so clearly not an alpha man makes him want to fuck her even more, like he senses something missing (a good fuck from a man) and wants to provide it.

Maybe that makes him a jerk, maybe asking Emily to go with him on New Years is part of being a jerk. Maybe. But it isn’t our anniversary, it isn’t my birthday, it isn’t her birthday. 

I showed Emily some of the comments, well the post and comments. Her reaction was basically: “I don’t have to go on New Years, hell, I don’t have to go at all, honey, I want this, but only if you want it, too.”

In the end, New Year’s isn’t the issue to me, not at all. The issue, the only issue, is whether my wife is going to get fucked.

In the end, I want that as much as she does. 

Damn, you've all given me a lot to think about

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

New Year's Eve

On New Year’s Eve, Emily and I usually dress up, go out to dinner or a club, generally have fun. That was likely our plan this year, though we hadn’t discussed it until last night. It’s no longer our plan. Friday changes that. He changes that.

“So,” Emily said, “about New Year’s Eve…”

“Same place as last year or you want to try something different?”

She smiled. “Um, yea, something different…there’s this party downtown…”

“A party, Em…” I frowned, I preferred a club to a party, less stuffy, more chance to be me, but I could deal.

“We..…” She bit her lip.


“Well, you…you can say no but…”

“But what?”

“Well, I…Jeff kind of asked me to go with him.”

Frankly, I wasn’t surprised, I mean, we’ve been heading to this for months now, the flirting, the lunches, the work event she's going to on Friday with him. She clearly likes him, she’s clearly attracted to him, in a way she hasn’t been attracted to a guy since Evan. I looked at her, she knew what was going through my mind, the hesitation, the pangs of jealousy, but the longing, too, the sexual buttons it pushed inside me. “New Year’s Eve…Em, he…he thinks…”

“I know, love,” she reached over, touched me on the leg. "I know exactly what he thinks."

“You know he wants"

“I know, of course I know. He's made that perfectly clear, hasn't he?"

“You…you want to, too,” I said, she'd made that as clear to me as he made things clear to her.

She looked down, nodded slightly. “It…it’s been so long, I…I miss it.”

“Is he…I mean, can he…you…you know the risk, Em…and you work with him.”

"Yea," she smiled at that. “He’s not going to fall in love, trust me, Sara, he’s not that kind of guy, I don’t get the impression he’s ever been that kind of guy. He’s a player, I’m the new pretty toy and he wants to play with me.”

“I bet he does," I said, looked away.

“Oh, stop, don’t tell me you haven’t been fantasizing about it as much as I have.”


“So…New Year’s…”

"What about Friday?" Her work party. A date, really. Him. Her.

"Yea. I was going to tease but...Friday is, well...that's not happening Friday, Friday is a work thing, I don't want to confuse them. But New Years...I mean...if I decide...if you're okay..."

I pictured her in a pretty dress, on the arm of a handsome man, I pictured the flirting, the teasing, I pictured the end of the evening. And I nodded.

“Hon,” she reached over, lifted my chin so we looked eye to eye. “I’m saying, I’m asking, I…I might…I mean, I want to...I'm asking if it's okay.”

“I know,” I said.

“You can think about it…”

“I…I don’t need to…I...I've already thought about it.”

She gave me a wicked smile. “And something tells me you’re going to think about it constantly.”

Of course I was, I was going to think about my wife, about a man, together, but I thought about all the time already. And what was she thinking about?

“Looks like I’m going to need another new dress…”


I almost didn't post this, I started to, put it in draft, stopped, came back. It's a little incoherent, a little confusing, like my emotions and thoughts and fantasies. 

Sometimes reality is harder than fantasy, more difficult to accept. Fantasy is fun, safe, private. Reality is anxiety, risk, sometimes public.

It's one thing to fantasize about Emily with a man, but it's another thing all together to face the reality of Emily with someone else. Especially when it's a real person.

I should re-read what I typed above, I don't know if I got it right, but part of me doesn't care. 

There's always been the fantasy of cuckolding, but except for the one or two encounters with Evan, it's been "safe." 

But Jeff is reality. Jeff is a man my wife sees on a daily basis, a man who has made no secret of what he wants-her. He doesn't care that she's married, in fact, I suspect it's part of the appeal to him. In a way that makes him "safe" and why Emily is right, he's not going to fall in love with her-knowing what she knows, knowing his reputation, she's correctly assessed he wants her body, not her mind.

I'm not sure what I'll post about this, or when, it depends, I guess, though I'm sure you all want to hear about it.

What's safe from my end? I can say no, she's made that clear, I can say no just like she can say no.

But I don't want to. I'm not going to. 

I like how she gets when she's attracted to a man, her nerves, her excitement. I like watching her get dressed in the morning-lately it's obvious when she's going to see him just from the extra time she spends getting ready.

And I like how it makes her with me-affectionate, playful, a tease, all things that turn me on immensely. 

Because when she says she misses it, what she misses is the things a man gives her, things I can't give her, and quite frankly, don't want to give her.

Day to day she wants me, we both know this.

But from time to time she wants something more.

Maybe I should say no...but the reality is I can't. As anxious as I am, as jealous as I get, I just can't.

Thursday, December 12, 2013


She may have absentmindedly kicked off her shoe and it might be in public, but the rules are the rules, sissy, on your knees and worship her.

Monday, December 9, 2013


Cuckold Marriage:
"Don’t let your boyfriend send a shot like this to your husband unless you have him in chastity because he will jerk off whether he wants to or not once he sees this"

The only thing missing is...who am I kidding, it's perfect!

Temporary Keyholder

She's out of town this week, I'm locked up, of course, the key left in the safe care of my sister-in-law.

We had dinner at her house last night, and unlike before when Emily left the key with her sister, this time she knows what she's in charge of.

We didn't discuss it openly, but after dinner when we were sitting around the table, Emily made a small show of getting up to go get something out of her purse and came back with the small envelope in which she keeps the key.

"Thanks so much for doing this," she told her sister setting the envelope on the table.

Her sister looked at me, gave me a sly smile, "I'm happy to help out, Em," she said. "I think its…cute."

My brother-in-law, oblivious, looked up from the football game, gave his wife a 'what's that' look.

"Just a girl thing," my sister-in-law said looking back at me, "just a girl thing."

My brother-in-law went back to his game with a shrug. He knows I'm not a 'normal' guy, not that I dress up around him, that would take things too far for our comfort, but even still, it's obvious I'm different. He's nice enough to me, probably wonders what the hell his wife's sister sees in me, but why try to explain.

My wife's sister, on the other hand, is more perceptive, especially since Emily and I got married. I'm not sure if she knows the extent of everything, but she knows more and more.

And now she knows her sister's husband not only has quite the feminine streak, but she knows about the chastity cage, too. She might not want Emily and I's relationship for herself, but I think she's somewhat amused by it.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Phone Friends

Last night Emily was relaxing in bed, talking to her friend from work on the phone, giggling like a girl with a serious crush, while I was at the end of the bed giving her a foot massage, trying to ignore the pressure between my legs.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

How do you measure up?

Me? I might make her cum once a year, but then she's really into me. After that, I'm doomed.